


Breathe me in, break me down

by drugsins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Light Angst, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, Riding, Shotgunning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 02:37:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drugsins/pseuds/drugsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is sure he wants to ruin him. But as he looks into his eyes, he realises Louis has always been the one in control and he’s helpless.</p><p>or the one where Harry is high out of his mind and Louis is everything he sees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Breathe me in, break me down

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first work I'm posting, so please be gentle. Comments and suggestions are much appreciated! Thank you x
> 
> ¤ find me on tumblr at drugsins ¤

It's all curling in front of him like a dense, white fog, leashing his brain and senses. Harry grips the cigarette stronger between his pale, long fingers, eyes hazy and red-rimmed as he takes it slower to his mouth again, inhaling. He holds everything in for a moment, watching the moonlight stream through his wide windows, illuminating in a silver light his surroundings. 

It's dark apart from this, his room covered in sinful smoke and shameful feelings. His bed is cold even with him in it, his body burning. He traces one hand absently on his stomach, feeling the sweat that's gathered there and exhales. The new, long shadow joins the others playing mercilessly in the room and he watches, his vision dizzy. Everything smirks devilishly at him and he feels a shiver run down his spine as he realises how lonely he is.  
He brings his cig once again to his mouth, repeating his previous action, as he's been doing for the last twenty minutes. Just staring through the darkness of his room without a reason, the warm cold from outside making his hairs stand up from hotness and coldness all together. It's strange how he's feeling so many things; everything burns him and covers him in a thin layer of ice. 

He watches as his body flexes, long on the black sheets of his bed, glistening. His dark pair of boxers is the only clothing he has on and as he lets out a foggy breath, he moans, free hand grasping his cock through them. Everything spins and he feels like suffocating, the air not breathable anymore as the slow wind from outside only intensifies the smell of meth. Harry moves his hand slowly, fingertips only touching himself, teasing and he smiles. Maybe it's nothing but the drug emphasizes his senses, making everything bigger and harder. It's been like this for a while. The need to escape and lock himself in the feeling of a simple cigarette until everything returns to him. Until he returns to him.

Harry sighs, eyes trying to focus on the dark sky outside where he's sure he's seen a bird flying slowly, just as slow as his mind is working right now. He looks at the drug in his hand and it's almost done; it's almost gone. Such as his sanity.

His surroundings are blurry and a dark taint of white as his brain spins and his body shivers and contracts, trying to hold on. He feels like screaming and laughing because it's just so good; he swears he never wants to let this go. He closes his eyes as he regains a bit of consciousness and listens intently to the soft sounds coming from downstairs. He takes a slow drag again and exhales loudly, as if tired from only the small action. Steps are climbing the stairs and getting closer to his room, as his eyes try to distinguish what's only in his head and what's reality anymore. 

The door opens with a soft creak and his vision snaps towards it, a small, fragile boy standing in the doorway and looking at him with wide, scared eyes. He looks uncomfortable, breathing through hard smoke and holding the handle tightly. His appearance is a mess, hair sticking up in all places, Tshirt wrinkled and dirty from strangers' hands and he still manages to look like the symbol of innocence.  
Harry smiles. It's always been like this; wanting to get fixed from a boy even more broken than himself.  
He pays no attention to Louis who is still not sure of what he's supposed to do or say, and he lets his head fall back, exposing his neck as smoke curls in front of him. It takes a while like this; just listening to his own heartbeat and almost feeling Louis'. 

The boy finally steps closer, getting rid of useless items of clothing on the way as his eyes are hard and focused, unlike Harry's. He's struggling to remain awake, feeling heat engulfing him and strangling his senses.

”Haz?” The boy whispers softly and Harry makes an effort to turn and look him in the eyes. But Louis doesn't say anything anymore; he's naked, body radiating in the silver moonlight as he stands awkwardly near the bed, watching Harry. He eyes the cigarette curiously as he moves and settles himself on Harry's lap carefully, still not touching the boy. Harry looks at him. It may be only the drug speaking but he is sure he's not seen anything more perfect than this; his blue eyes reflect everything just like the sky on a sunny day and his lips are sinfully red, close to a rose when you mercilessly rip it apart. 

Harry sighs and Louis takes his hand slowly, bringing it to his lips as he takes a long breath from it. His eyes are closed in ecstasy and Harry's free hand travels slowly to the bottom of his spine, gripping the warm flesh there. Louis looks at him then, closing the distance between them as he breathes smoke all over his lips. Harry's head furges forward, chasing the taste and capturing his lips softly. It's dirty and it feels sinful as their kiss emerges into something loud, tongues fighting for control. Louis' hands are now in Harry's hair and Harry holds on onto his waist, trying to memorize this. This is real; it's not only in his head.  
His eyes roll back in his head as Louis slowly lowers himself, pressing his lips to Harry's pulse point and lapping his tongue over it, marking. His hands go to grip the sheets and it's electrifying; cigarette tightly held between his fingers, smoke still curling from it dizzily. 

Everything suddenly changes as fresh, hot air pulses over his now freed cock and his eyes travel south. Louis is sitting right between his legs and is breathing harshly, his eyes wild and mouth bitten. He's not touching him, not really.

”Will you let me ride you?” He whispers brokenly as his eyes fix on Harry's, waiting for a response. It's not fair how pure he still looks even in a pose like this, Harry thinks. He manages a weak nod before Louis is all he can feel, straddling his waist tightly, his weight just as light as Harry's brain feels right now.  
Before he can register, he's kissing him, all teeth and tongue and messy as Louis fumbles with their well-known cold liquid, managing to paint both their chests with it. It's still surreal, the world spinning and Harry wanting it to end. He's slowly but surely engulfed in hot heat as strong hands grip his shoulders and force him to make eye contact. He can't see clearly though; Louis has his fringe in his eyes, bobbing himself up and down on Harry's cock as if his life depends on it and Harry thinks, maybe it does. His hands manage to travel to his lover's back, struggling not to bruise him and failing. He wants him to feel this tomorrow, to know what it's like to be ruined. 

He breathes harshly, matching Louis' own breathing as he tries to focus. Louis keeps whispering soft, useless things and it's all so confusing; he wants to wreck him and hold him tightly until he's meld into him and they become one. Harry pulls him closer, changing the angle and getting himself deeper as Louis moans brokenly.

”Is this how you wanted it to be? Is it enough?” Harry whispers angrily into his ear as Louis closes his eyes and melts into his arms, body already wrecked from the force of everything.

”Fucking tell me. Am I enough?” And Louis gasps, lifting himself up and slamming right down again, finally shutting Harry up and earning a loud groan. It's only going to get worse after this; the smell of smoke and sex still covering the room and the tingling feeling of shame and sin spreading through their bodies like heroine. 

Harry holds onto Louis who is now sobbing, the feeling so intense and hurting that he can't help it any longer. Harry loves to watch him like this; breaking apart, only to look into his eyes and see the acceptance in them, telling him to 'take everything because you own me'. He speeds his pace again and finally pushes Louis on his back and covers him completely, going into him deeply and fully, giving him no chance to escape and no mercy.  
Louis' head falls back into the sheets as he screams and Harry grabs his hands over his head, holding them there tightly. His cock is bouncing, hard and leaking, on his stomach but Harry can't help but drive into him full force, ripping him apart. It's dirty; the way his hips move into this broken and plying body that would do anything for him. 

”I'm going to break you for anyone else. You're mine.” He groans deeply while he's staring at Louis' exposed neck. The boy is writhing on the sheets, struggling to breathe and not suffocate from it all. He likes it, Harry thinks. The strength, the feeling inside, the burn, the stretch. It's all completing this crazy madness that they have, that they've been sharing for so long.

”Yours. Only yours forever.” Louis manages to whisper through broken breaths and Harry thinks his head might finally see clearly but his heart is spinning this time. Louis looks him straight in the eyes then and with a strangled moan he comes, painting his and Harry's chest white and hot as Harry just stares, not stoping. 

This is everything; he is everything. This person who is crying and gasping underneath him is his oxygen and his drug. He keeps thrusting deep only to see the boy crying harder and at one soft ”please..” from him, he comes violently inside him. He rides his orgasm and after all the ecstasy he sits back on his heels, looking around. His chest is heaving and he can't see straight but he can hear Louis muffling his gasps. He's crying but his eyes are shining, content and resentment shown in them. Harry can't hold his gaze, throwing his eyes outside, the pale moon still illuminating his room, even in its now shameless state. He reaches out for another cigarette, the first one long forgotten somewhere on the carpet, and stands up. 

His body shines and he shivers. As he lights it up, he skips a glance at Louis who is still on the bed upside down, tummy painted with sticky white and eyes closed and peaceful. He's breathing slowly and Harry smiles. He sits down on the rough carpet, back facing the wall and knees brought up to his chest as he inhales loudly, letting the warmness steal him away again. He likes getting lost; until he looks towards the bed and sees blue eyes shining back at him and realises he's been found. 

He's home; he's always been. Louis smiles warmly and Harry's heart flutters. It's crazy really; but as he looks at him he realises; it might be messy, but it's their mess.


End file.
